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| Photo by augustfinster on pixabay |
I didn’t want to kill it. I just didn’t want it in the
house.
While meditating, I saw movement out of the corner of my
eye. Yes, my eyes were open during meditation…it’s one of the types I practice.
Anyway, I looked and there was something crawling along the bottom of the
window. It was a wasp. I’d seen a wasp flying just outside my window a lot
lately, but now it was on this side. I paused my meditating and wondered what
to do.
Finally, I decided to get a plastic container and capture it
so I could release it outside. When I came back from collecting the container,
it was gone. But where did it go? Damn. I looked around, but didn’t see it. I
decide to go back to meditating when it flew back to the window. Okay. I’d see
what I could do.
It’s funny how afraid we are of small things even if they
can sting. I’d never been stung before and didn’t want to find out if I was
allergic. I wondered if trying to capture it would piss it off.
I took the container and slowly put it over the wasp. It
just sat there. Now what? I moved the container hoping the wasp would walk in.
Nothing. I waited. Finally, it began to go inside the container but only near
the edge. How was I going to pull the container away and cover it without it
getting out? The wasp just sat there and then began grooming itself. Then is
started to get really slow. Was it running out of air?
This was ridiculous. I wanted to get back to meditating. It
was now or never. I pulled the container away as slow as I could. The wasp didn’t move. I covered it. I’d
captured it!
I took it downstairs and put the container on the bench
outside and uncovered it. The wasp simply flew up and away. No problem.
I’m glad I decided to release the wasp. I’m not sure how it
got in or why it decided to visit me other than they are builders and I’ve been
thinking a lot about building a life and a business. The more I read about
wasp, it felt as though it was confirming my current path.
The Universe speaks to us in many ways. Spirit guides us
from within and sometimes it shows up in what seems to be outside of us. But I
never really believed there was an outside exactly. My inner world and the
outer world always felt like one thing. The world of Spirit was in the mix as
well. It was confusing as a child. I got the feeling others didn’t feel the
same way. As I grew older I learned to see these worlds as separate just enough
to understand the constructs humans built. But there is still a sense of
fluidity of being.
Wasp is another sign of spring. It’s a time of building and
creating. It’s a time to make a fresh start. I’ve been afraid of yet another
start of my business. But this time I feel my inner strength is back. I’ve done
the work to take much of the sting out of my past. I’ve grown in awareness and
won’t let the little things deter me.
I got back to meditating that day. I didn’t lose focus due
to the wasp visitation. If anything, I gained more focus. I trusted Nature, I
trusted the wasp. It trusted me. As I released it, I released myself. Life
turns on these small incidents. I may still have moments of doubt. I may falter
now and then, but there is no going back. Last September I felt as though I was
entering a threshold where the other side represented me no longer hindered by
my past. I have walked through now. It has been the longest step. And I know
there is no arrival time just this movement forward that flows from being, the
being that is home, the place I never left.
