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| Photo by Prettysleepy2 on pixabay |
I feel resistance to working on my current project. Up until
now I’ve mostly written shorter pieces. I don’t resist those as much. I can
finish them in one sitting, almost. I write, take a break and then go back and edit.
This long essay isn’t that simple. It’s also the first piece I’ll be sending
out to paying journals.
I’ve been paid for my writing before, but it was copywriting
or ghost writing blogs. It wasn’t my own stuff. Last year I got up the nerve to
send my work to online journals that don’t pay. I got published. I have my
clips. Now it’s time to get paid. And I’ve resisted. It’s been a year since my
last non-paid publication.
So, it seems my resistance may be more about getting paid
than the different type of writing I’m doing.
I feel my perfectionism kicking in. I’m afraid it won’t get
accepted. I dream of getting paid for my ideas and stories not someone else’s
marketing copy or blogs, but I’m afraid I won’t make it. I know my writing is
good and yet I have doubts.
Even though I’m experiencing all this resistance, this time
feels different. This time I know I won’t give up on myself like I have so many
times before.
I will finish my current essay and submit it. I may wait on
my muse and approach my destiny as a process, but I will no longer wait for
perfection. I won’t give up when it gets difficult. I won’t lose patience with
myself. Compassion is needed when our passions get tied up in our fears. I will
take the next step and the next as needed. I will let it unfold.
Life exceeds
our expectations when we let it. We don’t make things happen. We allow and in
that opening everything is possible.
