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I feel resistance to working on my current project. Up until now I’ve mostly written shorter pieces. I don’t resist those as much. I can finish them in one sitting, almost. I write, take a break and then go back and edit. This long essay isn’t that simple. It’s also the first piece I’ll be sending out to paying journals.
I’ve been paid for my writing before, but it was copywriting or ghost writing blogs. It wasn’t my own stuff. Last year I got up the nerve to send my work to online journals that don’t pay. I got published. I have my clips. Now it’s time to get paid. And I’ve resisted. It’s been a year since my last non-paid publication.
So, it seems my resistance may be more about getting paid than the different type of writing I’m doing.
I feel my perfectionism kicking in. I’m afraid it won’t get accepted. I dream of getting paid for my ideas and stories not someone else’s marketing copy or blogs, but I’m afraid I won’t make it. I know my writing is good and yet I have doubts.
Even though I’m experiencing all this resistance, this time feels different. This time I know I won’t give up on myself like I have so many times before.
I will finish my current essay and submit it. I may wait on my muse and approach my destiny as a process, but I will no longer wait for perfection. I won’t give up when it gets difficult. I won’t lose patience with myself. Compassion is needed when our passions get tied up in our fears. I will take the next step and the next as needed. I will let it unfold.
Life exceeds our expectations when we let it. We don’t make things happen. We allow and in that opening everything is possible.